PIEHOLE

The First Review

2005-03-25T14:32:00.000-05:00

Note: The review is from PIEHOLE's official Blogger, Color Commentator, and Historian - PT Scarborough. PT could not post the review himself because:
"I locked myself out of my basement where I live. My Dad's off in Las Vegas probably wasting the good earned money he got from the government. Im locked out, on his shitty comp with low internet connection. Im so sad right now, all I want is my lappy...meaning also I lost my keys to my room somewhere in there"

PIEHOLE - 3.5 stars (out of 4)

I was never around to see the Great Wall of China being built, nor have I ever seen the Great Wall. I’ve never been to the Hanging Gardens, but I hear they’re really cute. No, no, no, I have also never seen an Elephant fly, and you know what I think about that?! That is complete BS and I hate Disney.
Except for “The Incredibles”, now there was a killer movie, wow!

Most people have probably read The Great Gatsby, but how many more of you didn’t and watched the movie instead?! Now I’m not saying that I didn’t read it, but all I am saying is that Robert Redford is a good looking man with his hair pulled back like that.

From Dirty South Improv and Be Dirty Pictures who brought you “Good & Plenty” comes the next best thing in cinematic history, “PIEHOLE“.

I’m sure that readers out there can already guess how I feel about this movie, but before I go into detail about the flick, let me tell you something about the plot.

What would you say to two semi homoerotic collegians on a hunger strike that drink some moonshine and steal car. Add in a little competitive eating with a fatherly coach and an ethnic confused Asian. Let it stir a while and then we sprinkle some Satanic worshippers who attack golfers with lemons and you get exactly what you’re expecting, movie magic.

PIEHOLE not only has a great story that at times may seem a little out there, but the chemistry between the characters is something to hold on to and cuddle.
Ramona “White Shoes” Chang (Diana Chang), with her coach, Anthony (Scott Jennings) take the competitive eating world by storm as we seen them training non stop to reach that ultimate goal…to eat 10 pizzas.

Ramona is the cutest and most lovable character to come around in years. She is dimwitted and weird, but you can’t help wanting to see more. With the movie’s 30 minute running time, you can’t help but to ask, “Why wasn’t she in every scene?” Yet the other characters are something to be seen.

Troy, the gay hunger strike activist portrayed very convincingly by Kit FitzSimons has the best intro into any movie I have seen. With his butt buddy (literally and un literally) Outlaw, played by Dave Siegel, they get into some trouble with bad moonshine that switches into a montage of bizarre dream like drunkenness. There friendship is funny when it comes down to Outlaw telling a story about snowflakes, and Troy always wanting to jump his bones.

We are also introduced to the oddly enough calm duo of Scarlet (Katy Jack) and Jude (Jasmynne Shaye). They love Satan, they love cooking, what more could you want from the perfect woman I ask you?!

This movie hits all the right points for those that don’t like to sit down long but love to laugh til they puke. I was at the screening so I got to meet the stars of the film. All I can say is that the actors are not at all like the characters, well, except for Scott Jennings, who I would love to see in an NBC sitcom next year that involves lovable roommates not getting along. “F.r.i.e.n.d.s 2”, let’s hope!

PIEHOLE makes you wonder of what will be next for Dirty South Pictures. PIEHOLE is far superior to “Good & Plenty”, so all I can predict is nothing but better films coming out of this small movie company.

PIEHOLE. Directed by Erik Martin & Zach Ward. Running Time: 30 Min. Rated NC-17.

PIEHOLE WORLD PREMIERE

2005-02-21T13:09:00.000-05:00

PIEHOLE: Day 1,000: The Post That Was Not

2005-01-19T18:58:00.000-05:00

It’s been a long time coming, but finally at last, I have returned to give you all the download of what the world of PIEHOLE as been up to.

First I suppose I should say that I am sorry for not being around these past few weeks (feels longer? Maybe it is!). I have no excuse at all, not one!

Except for this. The following excuse is from “The Great Age of Excuses” by, Roy Loney.

"And they all with one consent began to make excuses"-Luke 14:18

The above quotation, is found in the Parable of the Great Supper. A man evidently of much prominence and wealth arranged a great supper and bade many guests to attend; but when the time arrived for the guests to attend, they all found what they believed excusable reasons for not attending.
What was said of the above persons could be said of mankind in general. God made man a free moral agent, and man rejoices in that freedom, but when he exercises that freedom to the injury of others he finds excuses which he thinks will exonerate him. When Adam and Eve sinned in Eden, each had an excuse. Adam blamed his wife and Eve blamed the Serpent; but it is an impressive fact that God accepted neither excuses, for both received the Lord's sentence. They had to suffer as a consequence of their misdeed.

So I think that explains it.

……

Anyways! How is the world of PIEHOLE, you ask?! Since the celebration of Jesus Christ’s birthday, Erik Martin and Zach Ward plus the ever hard working crew of PIEHOLE have been editing, creating special effects, and putting a soundtrack together that makes “The Lord of The Rings” look like, “The Lord of the Rings: Behind the Scenes (located on disc three of the Special five disc set)”

So now, let me take you back to a time of wonder, to a time of rather unusual warmth, back to the beginning of January.

It was a warm night on the campus of UNC-Chapel Hill. The cast was called to meet outside of The Bingham building, on the, I forget part of campus. I arrived wearing my new orange jacket that my Auntie Sue got for me for Jesus-Day. It’s the cutest little thing you’ve ever seen! With this great big ol’ zipper that makes the sound, “Zip” and OH.. MY.. GOD, my pockets are soooooo huge! I can put anything in them…

…..Ahem. And so it was. Along with my new “jacket”, I had my iPod, which I named Red Thunder. Lappy was on Stand By taking a nap, and so I waited. Ben Kibler was the first who showed up with his usual snack treat for everyone.
Before I go on. A little “telling” of what the scene to be shot was about is in order.

Taken from Senior Musical Analyst and Choreographer Ethan K’s blog, in his words, “The Rooster Prince”

The scene is a re-telling of the Hebrew tale of the Rooster Prince wherein a traveling rabbi (?) cures an insane prince of his delusions that he is a rooster. Christians get Jesus curing lepers, we Jews get a rich man who thinks he's poultry.

Thanks Ethan! For more info into the exciting life of the Big K just scroll down to the end of this page, or hell, fox trot it, here’s the link. http://www.rosswhite.com/ethankaye/

Now that you know, it will not be re-stated.

When Ben walked up to me, I was listening to Sheryl Crow’s “You Can’t Have Me on Tuesdays”. I turned around to see a blonde haired man throwing a box of “Coco Puffs” cereal at me! I caught it and laughed.

“Nice treat. Got any milk?” I asked. Kibler looked at my shoes for some reason and said, “Nope!”

“Well that’s cool. Still edible and edible is good!” I replied.

“It’s stale though”. Then Ben smiled like I had never seen a Human smile before and he started to run backwards and disappeared into the darkness!

Needless to say I was a little freaked out!

I kept listening to my music when Zack Bly showed up. Zack was sporting a great loose jacket that would make 98 Degrees proud.

We exchanged hello’s and then I got into a deep conversation about NES games for cheap, around the Triangle. That’s what happens when you talk to the Bly, you get into deep conversations.

I asked Zack if was hungry and he said he was. I held up the box of “Coco Puffs” and said, “Here you go. Help yourself!”

“To what?” he asked.

I then looked at my hands to see that nothing was there.

“Weird! Could of sworn…..”

“Hey, there’s Erik!” Bly pointed out
We looked at Erik Martin running towards us in a jogging suit! I was amazed! Erik was running! His leg must of felt lots better!

“Wow, hey Erik! Feeling better I see!” I said with excitement.

“Yeah I feel alright. My leg is still for shit, but check this out”. Erik lifted up the pant of his left leg to reveal a knee support, but it was made out of metal! I had never seen one like that before.

“Wow, you make that?!” Bly Asked.

“Yeah, something I’ve been working on since my first surgery. I figured I’d better test it out, just to see”

“You could make Millions if you sold that to someone!” I said.

“You kiddin? My love is the film, if I want to get rich quick and make millions without doing anything, I’d make a movie with Adam Sandler.”

I asked Erik if he had seen Ben.

“Ben who?” Erik asked.

“Kibler”

“Again, who is that?”

“What? Ben Kibler, you know who I’m….”

“Hey there’s Zach Ward!” Erik shouted before I could finish my sentence.

Co-Director President Warden was walking slowly towards us. The Warden was playing with a yo-yo and he was remarkably good at it!

“It’s time to set up!” The Warden proclaimed.

There was a tight schedule for that night just to let you know. We only had from 9pm to about Eleven to finish this complicated scene. And John and Ethan hadn’t even shown up yet!

But alas, I speak too quickly. When we all entered Bingham, I heard the sound of sirens from outside. I left the building to check it out when I heard it again. It was most definitely the sirens of a police car and the screeching of some tires. Bingham was rather close to the road that goes through campus, but I still couldn’t believe that someone was either being chased by the police or the cops were just fucking around.

Soon Ethan K and new comer (at least to my eyes) Josh aka “Josh the Bassist” showed up with lots of equipment! I mean they had lots! I talked with Ethan about the noise I heard earlier and he just looked at me and said, “Don’t assume anything! You don’t know!”

He then ran to the bathroom. Josh walked towards me and placed his hand on my shoulder.

“Don’t worry man. When’s he’s ready, he’ll tell you” Josh exclaimed.

Little did I know, that it was much more than Ethan having a panic attack. The next day Ethan told me of what had happened. You might want to read his experience on his blog.

But what you don’t know about, is the “Josh The Bassist Experience”

Supposedly while Ethan was being interrogated by one Officer, the other three Cops (There 4 total I believe, in four squad cars) was asking Josh about Music! And the scary part was, one Officer even asked Josh if he had a light! A Cop smoked a cigarette in front of the would-be criminal! Then they started to talk on their cell phones or something and they let Josh go. And I thought Ethan had a close call, but damn!

The shoot went on and so did Sheryl Crow in my ears.

Originally the “Rooster Prince” scene was to be filmed with 2 different actors portraying the Rabbi and Prince. But thanks to the brilliant minds of Martin and Ward, they decided to have Zach Bly portray both the characters! I didn’t see how it was possible! No movie magic, not even the best, could create two Bly’s! It was impossible!

Or was it?

I just have to say, that I will never doubt the minds of The Martin and Ward. For here is a screen test of “The Two Blys” located at BeDirty Pictures. You can scroll down to the link or http://www.bedirty.com/index.php?product=20

Also there is a screen test of “The Golf Scene” that I covered oh so many blogs ago

I just have to say, wow! Awesometown!

So all was wrapping up and the shoot was becoming another great success. I walked outside to have a cigarette and then I heard some laughing coming from behind me! I turned to see, but nothing was there! I was freaking out! I didn’t know what was going on!

I dropped my cig and ran inside the building. The Warden ran to me and saw that I looked a little pale.

“What’s wrong PT?” The Warden asked.

“I think I keep seeing things, hearing things. I saw Ben earlier and now its has if he’s a ghost or something!”
“Well it’s funny you say that”

“Why?” I asked pulling against Zach’s shirt.

“Cause Ben’s been dead for 20 years!”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I SCREAMED!

…..

Then I woke up to Zach Bly shaking me.

“Hey man. You were asleep”, he said.

“Was I? Was it all just a dream?”

Was it?

PIEHOLE Teasers

2005-01-18T19:27:00.000-05:00

PIEHOLE Teasers

PIEHOLE nears end of production

2005-01-17T13:20:00.000-05:00

pictures of the penultimate PIEHOLE shoot

wriggled and jiggled and wiggled - part 2

2005-01-10T14:02:00.001-05:00

We shot the opening credits sequence yesterday with assistant producer and actor LisaP. It transcended my wildest possible dreams.

Maybe it was because all four people at the shoot know each other real well, maybe it was because we were shooting in the kitchen of my parents' house, maybe it was because we all watched some of the Director's Label Series Boxed Set (which my sister helped design) before we started filming. For whatever reason, the scene was amazing, heightening what I originally had in mind by a factor of 10.

This is the kind of magic I had secretly and greedily dreamed of when I got the chance to make a movie with improvisers. I'd like to say more, but i don't want to ruin it for anyone, so I'll just say this, the opening credits of PIEHOLE will be like the opening credits of 7even but funny, and Lisa's performance will fucking blow people away!

buck naked man 1, campus cops 0

2005-01-10T14:02:00.000-05:00

Amazing account from sounds maestro and keyboardist Ethan Kaye on his blog, How to Cook Everything, recounting some adventures after one night of PIEHOLE shooting.

cold wet willie

2005-01-04T01:38:00.000-05:00

Check out Assistant Director and actor Jon Fabris's great behind the scenes video:Good Weather for PIEHOLE

wriggled and jiggled and wiggled

2005-01-03T11:08:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the brilliant mind of PIEHOLE Assistant Producer Lisa Palmisano PIEHOLE now has the Perfect Opening Credits Song. Lisa will be performing the song in the opening credits scene as Troy's Mother, while she prepares a care package for her son. I have always believed that opening credits are an important and often over looked part of any flick (except of course for this guy, whose job i totally want).

I feel pretty good that now, if nothing else, PIEHOLE will have a hot opening credits scene, ensuring that the audience is paying attention while the names of ALL the filmmakers appear on screen.

*Note: there are two versions of the above song, the original and the slighly toned down version (which is reflected in the linked lyrics). We will of course be using the original and more morbid version.

PIEHOLE: Letter From God

2004-12-23T01:08:00.001-05:00

Co-Conspirators:



With this Sunday's Arctic Blast Shoot  under our belts, we have now

reached the halfway point in PIEHOLE's production.

I looked over all the tapes and I am very excited with they way the

film looks. The true test will be if we can tell a good story or not,

but I think the individual performance and scenes look pretty damn good

at this point. I have just started chopping up the scenes, so expect to

see some early cuts of scenes and some pulled stills up on the web in

the next couple of weeks.



I wanted to say thanks to everyone for all the time and energy and

faith they have given the project so far. Also, many of you have

donated or bought props, location stuff, wardrobe, food, equipment,

travel expenses, etc. from your own pocket. Thank you for contributing

to the cause and making it possible.



Our premiere is now 2 months away!



We have a lot of fun shoots ahead of us, and I have a lot of long hours

to log in the editing cave. The only thing I have to say about what I

want out of myself and you in the work ahead of us is this:  Most of us

expect too much from ourselves in life. We feel the need to be perfect,

look great, say the right thing, and all that shit. Just like on stage,

in front of the camera, all those perceived shortcomings - the

vanities, the vulnerabilities, your prejudices, the things that

frustrate you about your personality - those are huge fucking assets.

Let yourself go more. Take more chances. Have more fun. Only 30 min or

so of all the hours we shoot will be presented to the audience. Whether

you are in front or behind the camera pick your moments to contribute

and then make them fucking count. Surprise each other, surprise me,

surprise the audience. The script is merely a jumping off point, a

platform for all the incendiary talent that I have seen from all of you

on stage. Continue to take risks - make it yours, and I will push

myself as an editor and director to present your work, your details,

your contribution as the brilliant art that it is.



We have some great moments already on tape. With a little luck and a

little improv magic we can create a truly original work to share with

everyone on February 22nd.



Thank you all.



Yours in mayhem,



God.

*Note, God is actually Erik Martin, if you didn't pick that up from now, then you shouldn't be able to read*

PIEHOLE: The Christmas Gift: Day 4 and Day 5

2004-12-20T13:16:00.000-05:00

Part I: The Delay

I felt the need for some reason, to sleep in on this day. I don’t know why, I just had to. The girl in my dreams told me not to go.
The shoot was being held in the house hold of Diana Chang, CeCe Garcia and Lyda Kendrick. It was a nice place, for some reason I kept smelling roses.

Weird.

As I walked into the Kitchen where a scene was already taking place between Scott and Diana, everyone was eating chicken. I took out my lappy and started to write as much as possible, but honestly I missed so much! A lot had already happened. Damn that girl in my dreams.

Soon, all took a break, I smoked a quick cigarette and came back in. Ms. Kendrick was sitting on the floor typing away, while Ms. Garcia was eating some “Spaghetti O’s”.

Secretary of Laughs, Ms. Palmisano was doing what I could only describe as “Reiki” on Ms. Buffie Davis. Gina was checking her cell phone for viruses.

I thought it was insane when I heard that Ms. Chang was going to eat at least a dozen or so hot peppers. She did it too! And boy, I can tell you, the bathroom wasn’t happy with her when that was over.

It was a simple shoot altogether. Quick and easy. Just as I was about to leave, Erik handed me a XXX Showcase Gay Men’s Magazine. I said thanks and gave it to Zach who just shook his head and told me to get out.

A nice shoot. But now let’s go on to Day 5. Part II of the Christmas Gift.

Part II: The Lenor Project

I was the last man on earth. I felt so alone. I had no one to talk to, no one to run to. Where should I have gone when all was lost? What hope did I have out there, out there in that bleak present time that I was in. I stood alone against the darkness that crawled in around me. The sun was going down faster and faster. I could not escape it, I could not run away from it.
I loved it though, for some reason. Being out there in the Pit with all the students gone. It made me feel as if, I was the last of a dying breed. Although I am not a student of UNC-Chapel Hill, I felt then, like I belonged.

You should try it sometime! With Winter Break already begun, the students have gone home and I awaited the arrival of the cast and crew, for this was day five of the PIEHOLE shooting, and I felt like the world was my own.

The temperature was about 30, or so I think. I sat typing away on my lappy under some Christmas lights when Katy Jack showed up. I thought it was her at least. I coughed “Kayyyy Jakkkk” to get her attention, but no reply. Then Ethan K and Zach Bly showed up. Zach Bly is a part of DSI and a good dude. He was there to be an extra for the shoot that day.

Soon John showed up, with an awesome English Looking Bowl Hat. I tried it on for a sec and man, I really want one now. Erik called me and asked me to help carry some of the equipment, I told the others to go help.

Then President Ward showed up with tons of Luggage. Zach was recently in Chicago and Maryland, visiting family and rocking out some Improv. Ms. Chang showed up with ten pizza’s from “Papa Johns”. The Pizza’s were props for a scene.

It was starting to get a little chilly when I realized that the Lenor Cafeteria was open! The door was just simply un-locked and wow, it was awesome! Lenor had left over cakes and cookies and other snacks that were delicious!

….although none were takin though. Stealing is fox trotting wrong!

Soon all packed into Lenor, were it was warm and cozy. Ben Kibler showed up with Hot Coco and Honey Grahams with Peanut butter. The Coco was the highlight of the night for me. Mr. Jennings showed up as did Mike Bamfurd on his BMX Bike. He showed me some wheelis and it was cool. Andrew Hutson showed up as well with Lauren Frohne, both from DSI’s House Team “Community Bike”.

Soon the shoot was underway and Zach approached me with a cool idea. He and Erik decided that they needed a delivery guy for the pizzas and they wanted me to do a quick scene! It was great!
Your Blogger was in a scene in PIEHOLE! I was like Charlie being in the Factory!

Although the scene might not make it into the movie though, it was still fun.

Then the worst thing happened ever! It started to rain.

Hard.

I soon realized as I walked back to Lenor that my lappy was still on a table! It was soaked! I panicked and ran inside with it!

Worst…thing….possible.

I dried it off with napkins and lit a candle next to it so I could say a few prayers.
Just think, no more iTunes, no more PIEHOLE blog, no more Internet Access, in the blink of an eye, it could of all been lost!

But all was not lost, an hour later, I charged it back up and all was fine.

The temperature soon dropped to a nice friggin bone chilling 25 degrees! If that wasn’t enough, the wind started to blow like God was saying, “Get off my Campus!”

And on top of that, the 5-0 dropped by, but all was cool, Zach slipped the cop a 20.

After an hour or so, we all took a break and I played some AC/DC off of the lappy.
It was all in all, a cold fox trotting night, Ben and I made jokes next to the set and he let me listen to his iPod.

Dave Siegal showed up for a quick minute scene in which he had a reaction to another scene that was taking place.

Then just when you thought nothing could go wrong…we got kicked out by some Janitor from Lenor.
It’s not like we were making any trouble. Some people blame the music that was continually playing, but people, don’t blame the lappy, it wasn’t her fault.

So although we could not re-enter our warm home, we all pressed on. Soon, it reached the end of the night and all looked like death because of the cold. It was a good time though, being in the Pit, with the cold in the air, with Christmas lights everywhere, it was, well….romanti…….prett….Christmas like.

Happy Holidays to you out there! Make this holiday season one to remember. Fill that heart with love and that stomach with everything you can find!

4 EVER!

PIEHOLE: Day 3: The Preserve Shoot.

2004-12-19T01:53:00.000-05:00

Sorry this took so long to post. But you know, sometimes you’re the fish, and sometimes you’re the robber. Think about that one.

You know, even the most famous people in the world go to the Golf Course. Charles Barclay, Robert Wagner, probably even Nat King Cole! And even though many movies have had scenes about a golf course, one movie stands above all, and that movie is PIEHOLE.

I once was asked to go golfing with my Dad, but that was long ago. I don’t remember saying “no“, all I remember was my brother going with him instead of me. And yet when the PIEHOLE shoot at the Preserve came up, I realized, it was a time for me to relive my childhood dream.

The night before the shoot, I made the mistake of not getting any sleep. I ventured to a party the night before and well….you know how it gets.
The Preserve was located near Jordan Lake. Now Jordan Lake is a great place to swim, fish, eat and swim around fish. I’ve been to Jordan Lake, I don’t know how many times, for “late night never minds” and “early day forgets“. The Preserve wasn’t near the lake, in fact you couldn’t even see any water, anywhere. So why did I mention that? Cause I love.

I arrived at the Preserve with red scarf around neck and my lappy in hand. Zach and Erik were already unloading stuff from there car with John Fabris’s help. Erik’s leg is doing a little better, but it’s still sucks from what he tells me. It was good though to be able to talk to him without any morphine in between us.
Ben Kibler arrived with hot biscuits and apple juice which was nice of him. Now the cool thing about Ben is that Ben‘s dad, Gary, was the one who made this shoot possible. Without Gary we would have been lost, thanks Gar.
Erik and Ben decided to go to hole 18 to start setting up the equipment while Zach stayed behind to go over his lines. I took out some tissue to blow my nose, when all of the sudden I saw what I can only describe as the coolest thing ever! A baby sweet white Caddy Cart! Four wheels, two seater and can go from 0-15 in like three seconds! When I saw this pale white wonder drive pass me, I soon realized that fate had made my day.

After I stopped drooling, Katy showed up wearing her pajamas. She looked tired, I told her that she should never sleep and she just looked at me strangly. Soon the lovely Jaz Robbins showed up and it looked like everyone was there. Except for Gina, she wouldn’t arrive til hours later.

I decided to go and scope out the Golfer’s Club, which probably takes millions to fund. I walked through the huge double golden doors and was blinded by a lit up Christmas Tree that was next to the wall.
The sanitation grade was 95.5, which was surprising. I thought it would of been better. The bar was friggin’ great though, I didn’t know serving you a Whiskey Sour at 9 am was possible.

I walked out onto the front deck of the Club with my Sour to check out the golfing range. There were two guys standing next to a cart talking about what rich golfers talk about.

There was one guy, let’s call him RF and another, let’s call him Buzz, talking to one another while washing their balls. Buzz was smoking a cigar, while RF was asking him about Jiffy Lube and if his car was fixed. Then they talked about scamming old people out of money and making sure their kids went to college to become exactly what they are. I think at least…..I was tired.

I walked back into the Club and turned to the bathroom. I immediately screamed and dropped my five dollar Whiskey. What scared me was this tall man looking straight at me! He was like 8 feet tall and had sparkling white teeth. He was scary, but he was also made out of cardboard.

I walked into the bathroom and to my surprise I saw President Ward in one of the stalls. I didn’t say anything to him. You just don’t ever talk in the bathroom to another guy. Ask anyone. DO IT.

When I left the Club, I walked up to Eddie the Cart Guy who was really nice.

“You need a cart sir?”, he asked me.

“How much?”

“Haha, they’re free. I’ll let you take one though, only if you tell me what the movie is about.”

I suddenly tried to think of a quick summary for PIEHOLE, so that this mortal man would understand. I thought for a minute and then replied, “PIEHOLE is about self exploration, the understanding of truth, the discovery of all things around you. That and eating and not eating.”

Eddie looked at me and smiled.
“Ohhhhhhhkay. Take anyone you want.”

I thanked him and walked up to one Cart. Just before I got into one though, I had a mental picture of my dad. He was sitting in a cart drinking a beer and laughing with my brother. My dad looked over to me and said, “You’ll never know. You think you know, but you will never know.”
He then continued to laugh at me and I then jumped in the Cart and sped off like a bullet. Eddie yelled something at me, but I didn’t catch it. I drove back to Zach and Katy and stopped in front of them. Zack asked me to take Katy to hole 18. I said sure, then Katy insisted that she drive. I said okay of course, I mean, what am I, twelve? I would never argue about who is going to drive the Cart that I picked out. I mean, I’m not going to say something like, “Never Katy. You can drive back maybe. But the man always drive”. Nope, I would never say that!

Katy and I headed to what we thought was hole 18, but in fact, was not. We headed in the wrong direction and man! It was crazy! Katy was just putting the pedal to the medal and we were zooming all around that friggin course! It was pretty fun, but then when we realized that we were lost, we thought it was all over. Until Gary Kibler came to the rescue that is! This guy was great! Not only did he show us the way back, but he took us off road! He was quite the woods man.

Soon the shoot started and lasted about 2 to 3 hours. First the scene with Zach, Erik and Gary just playing some golf and talking. Then the scene where….well, I’ll let you find out when the movie premieres. There were many chances it looked like to rain, but God or some other force was looking down upon us with happiness on that day.

Gina showed up finally and we talked a bit about life, parties and movies. She knows a lot about gowns and clothing in the movies. Ask her a question like, “What was Meg Ryan wearing in the first scene of ‘You’ve Got Mail’?” and BOOM, she’ll know it.

The shoot was all in all a really good time. Even though I was tired, nothing could of or keep me from coming to blog about this movie. Nothing except for a Super Model though with laser eyes.

…..Boom.

PIEHOLE: The Interviews. Director Erik Martin.

2004-12-04T16:17:00.000-05:00

I haven’t been in a hospital since I was five, and even then it wasn’t for me, it was because my dog was being put to sleep. Well okay, that was an Animal Hospital, but still, a place of healing non-the-less. When Erik and I first discussed my interviewing him, it was about 2 months ago. Erik is a very busy man, with lots to do so I was very lucky to get this friggin gig! So this past Tuesday was the only day that I could interview him. I was excited beyond belief and all things were fine, until a week ago when his Sister Anna called me. Anna handles all of Erik’s scheduling and phone call needs. She’s a great girl, but a little over protective at times. Thus the conversation we had over the phone.

Anna: Hello, PT?

Me: Hey, how you doin?

Anna: All right. Look, we got a little snag in the schedule here.

Me: Snag?

Anna: Yeah, Erik is having surgery.

Me?: Jesus, he okay?

Me: Oh yeah, no biggie. It’s his knee again.

Me: Wow, again huh? So isn’t this his third operation or something?

Anna: Fifth.

Me: Wow, why…

Anna: Look it’s not too serious. So I believe we’re going to have to call it off…

All the sudden a streak of grief and sadness started to crawl all over me like spiders in the night. Until in the background of Anna’s phone I heard Erik yelling, “Give me the phone Anna, Anna no, give me the phone”

Erik: PT?

Me: Hey man.

Erik: Look, look, it’s cool, I still want this to happen.

In the background I heard Anna say, “No Erik! This is not good for you! I refuse to….”

Erik: Shut Up! Sorry. Anyways yeah, still come, I’ll be find, my surgery’s around 8 in the morning, so I should be good if you come around 3?

Me: That’s fine.

Erik: Cool, here’s Anna.

Anna got back on the phone and all I heard was her breathing very heavily. It lasted about thirty seconds and all I could imagine was Erik and his sister trying to stare each other down.
I thought that she was about to hang up on me until she yelled, “Why don’t you listen to me!”
Erik replied with, “Cause this is my shit! I’m the master Jockey! Me! I’m the Joc! You’re the fucking Pony! Without me there’s nothing!”

Anna: PT?

She said very somberly.

Me: Anna?

Anna: Yeah, Tuesday at 3. Deal?

I agreed and that was that, everything was underway.

So as the day finally hit the calendar, I traveled to the Duke University Medical Center, Ambulatory Surgery Center. I had some trouble parking, but it was no biggie. The security guard was asleep in the booth so I just passed on by. Thank you low payroll!

I traveled up to Erik’s wing and entered his room. Erik looked as if he was asleep in his bed. He had an Oxygen mask on, an IV and electrode’s hooked up to his arm. This friggin guy looked like he had been through hell. Anna was there at his bed side, whispering something to him like, “I won’t let anybody hurt my big brother”.

I stood next to the door with laptop in hand, just waiting for her to notice that I was there. After a while, a nurse passed by me and said, “Are you family?”
I replied and said, “No, I’m the blogger”
The nurse smiled and said, “Of course, we’re expecting you. My name is Debra. You can go on in, he’s a little out of it.”
We both looked at Erik and Debra crossed her arms.
“His sister’s been here for hours. Always talking to him, Erik keeps buzzing me in here to ask her to go get some coffee or a magazine or something!”

I completely understood his motives. Debra walked up to Anna and said that I was here. Anna got up and walked towards me.
She said, “Oh….hey”.
I smiled and said hello.
I asked her of how Erik was doing and she said, “Good I suppose. I still don’t approve of this interview. My brothers in pain and all you men can think about is a movie!”
I reminded her that it wasn’t just a movie, rather a Mega Motion Picture and it was a great MMP at that.
She looked at me strangely and said, “Whatever, I’m going to get some coffee”
“You do that”, I replied.

I walked up to Erik while Nurse Debra was checking his blood pressure.
I asked him how he felt and Erik said, “Well who do you think should play the new James Bond?”

Nurse Debra exited the room while “crossing” herself. Erik was definitely out of it.
I told him that it was me and he just said, “No more Disney”, while turning on his side.
I plugged in my Lappy and sat down in the chair next to his bed. I pulled up my Word Processor and was ready to go. Before I could even start to type though, Erik turned over towards me, winced at me and smiled. I hadn’t felt so uncomfortable since that Lenny Kravitz concert last year.
“I’m wearing a gown”, Erik said, sounding like a drunk.

“Yes you are”, I replied.
“Isn’t it pretty?”
“It’s nice. So you ready?”
“Ready?”
“For the interview?”
“Oh yeah, I’m ready”

I looked at his eyes and I saw that they were completely blood shocked! I wondered to myself if he had been on Morphine all day. I didn’t know it was that serious. The surgery was at 8 earlier that morning.

A Doctor came in the room and went to Erik’s side. He was a tall man with dark hair, in his 50’s. When he spoke he sounded like a Southern Judge or Lawyer, straight out of a Jon Grisham novel.
“Well how yall’ doin’ here?”

Erik turned over and said, “Am I breathing?”
“Do I got to do another MRI?”, the Doc said laughing.

I asked the Doc of how the surgery went and he sad, “Splendidly, it was very fine indeed. I just put him on his medication an hour ago so he’s not going to make much sense.”
“An hour ago? But his surgery was this morning right?”
“Oh my no, it was originally planned to be, but we had to back it up. It was at Noon. Took only a couple of hours.”

I felt like I was a turtle going into my shell. I simply said, “Oh” and the Doc gave Erik a pat in the head.
“My name’s Garrett by the way. Doctor Garrett. You got any questions, I’ll be outside.”
Doc Garrett walked out the room. Erik turned over and looked at me again and said, “You wanna know the answer to the question that I’ve been asking myself for years?”
I said sure and got my hands ready for some typing.
“You know how Kurt Cobain really died? He didn‘t commit suicide, he was murdered…..By the Jews.”
“Ohhhhhh kay!” I said getting up and walking towards the window.

Although I was happy to be there, the interview wasn’t has I had hoped. Anna walked back in the room and stood next to me.
She yawned and said, “You getting what you expected?”
“More than I had hoped”, I said frowning.
“That’s good. I know this will be a good blog, no matter what!”
I got a little upset and decided to just ask Erik the questions that I came to ask, no matter the answer.

“Now Erik, you think you can answer these questions?” I said.
Erik nodded his head and licked his lips.
“Yes. Hit me!”
“Are the people going to love this film like you hope?”
“Yeah, fucking hope they love it, but people also love Good Charlotte. I’m asking them to only give me 30 minutes of my life! I just hope no one tries to kill me. Or call me a pussy.”

Ah, it looked as if he was overpowering his drugs, so I continued.
“What separates this film from all other films that have been made before?”:
“In the history of mankind, no other film or work of art has combined a Rabbi, gay tent sex and Scott Jennings”

“If you had a million dollar budget, would this movie be better or worse?”
“It would be a horrible disaster! Probably resulting in my untimely death”

“If you could cast one person to be just in one role, who would you choose? Famous wise?”
“Ricky Nelson as Troy”
For those that don’t know, Ricky Nelson is famous for his role on ‘The Ozzie and Harriet Show’ as himself. Check your local Internet Movie Database.com for more info.

“What’s going to happen with Dirty Pictures in the upcoming year? Any ideas? Piehole 2?
“Yeah, I'm working on a totally fucked up update of ‘Robin Hood’ where the ‘Merry Men’ steal prescription drugs for seniors, but totally sick in the head”

I was glad that the interview was going smoothly. As I was about to ask my next question, Nurse Debra walked in once more.

“You need your bed pan to be emptied?” She asked.

I looked at Erik as he smiled at Debra.
“Yeah sure.”

After I came back in the room from brief smoke break, I had a realization that Hospitals aren’t that bad. You’ve got to be a great person to be around so much pain all day. I mean, not all of it is pain I suppose, but still, you gotta be brave to be a Nurse or Doctor. I respect these people. I would never want to be one of these people, but I respect them non the less.

As I walked back into the room, Anna was washing Erik’s face with a wet hand towel.
Erik looked over to me and said, “Hey man!”
I laughed and said, “Hey. Still here.”
“Not you! Hey Chris!”, Erik replied. I looked behind me and there was Erik’s friend Chocolate standing at the door with some white roses in hand.
Chocolate walked by me and I smelled what I can only describe as too much air freshener.

Now for those that don’t know of who Chris Chocolate is, his story is simple. Erik called me
after Chocolate left the Hospital with a Nurse later that night.
When Erik had his last surgery in April. Erik’s friend Chris Chocolate wanted to come visit him. It was completely after visiting hours and Erik told him that it would be impossible to come over.
Chocolate simply replied, “Don’t worry about it”

Erik told me, “That’s the kind of guy Chris is, he’ll just pack up where he is and drive across country to see you.”

An hour later when Chocolate actually somehow managed to show up, he arrived in Erik’s room with a backpack full of beer, condoms and porn.
Erik asked, “How’d you get in?!”
Chocolate replied, “I told them I was you gay lover.”
Erik was a little upset, but he got over it. Later that night though, Chris drank a lot of beer and scattered empty beer cans, condoms and porn all over the floor.

“It was hilarious! I kept thinking to myself, ’What are these Doctors going to think when they come in the next morning? Chris was gonna be gone, so how could they think I did all of that?!”

I had much more respect for Chris after I heard that story. After all, Chocolate is the same guy who said, “Improv is one step above Clowns, once step above Magicians.”

“You weak ass!” Chocolate said as he through his white roses on the bed. Erik laughed and said, “You bought me white roses? I’m not dying yet.”
“Shit, I didn’t buy these. Some Nurse but them on an empty bed a couple of rooms down. So I drive all this way to see you and all you can do is lay there.”
“I am in a lot of pain.”
“I know. It’s fine. Whose the guy?” Chocolate asked while pointing at me. I felt a little stupid in not introducing myself. Either it was that or the fact that I was carrying my laptop around everywhere with a “Cosmo” magazine in my other hand.

Erik explained to Chocolate of who I was.
“No shit. Nice to meet you man!”
Chocolate shook my hand and shit! It fucking hurt. Hard grip there buddy!
“Nice to meet you too”, I said.
“I’m awesome. Erik man, I’m tired. I think I’ll take a nap on that chair. Cool? Thanks.”
Chocolate sat in the chair that I was in and immediately passed out. Anna shook her head and said, “I can’t believe he drove all this way to see you just passes out.”
Erik laughed, “It’s alright. He’s probably coming down from drinking too much.”

The day wore on and I completed my interview. Erik and I just talked for a while about movies and shit. It was nice talking to a Director who knew so much about the way things work in the film business.

Erik soon fell asleep, and the visiting hours were coming to an end. Chocolate was on the floor laying in his own drool. Anna was combing her hair and reading a novel by the window. I zipped up Lappy and was heading out the door when Anna got up to stop me.
“Hey wait!
“Yeah?“
“It was actually good that you came by today”, she said.
“Thanks. I had fun. I hope he feels better tomorrow.”
“He probably won’t, but he’s tough.”
“Yeah I know. And what about him?” I asked looking at Chris.
“Don’t worry about him. I’ll ask Erik to give you a call when he wakes up and tell you about Chris.”
“Thanks. Nice seeing you again. Take care!”
I shut the door behind me and turned around only to almost trip over Doc Garrett! Garrett was leaning against the wall on the floor outside of the room reading a “Teen Pregnancy Magazine”. I looked at him and said, “Gonna be a long night huh?”
He replied, “Boy I tell you, girls are just having babies sooner and sooner these days huh?”
“Some do I suppose”, I replied.
Doc Garrett stood up. “You leavin’ already good sir? You get what you were looking for?”
I thought about it for a while.
And then, “Yeah. More so that I thought.”

I shook the Doc’s hand and walked down the hall. Garrett yelled at me before I got to the double doors, “Hey! If you ever get a teen pregnant, call Doc Garrett! I'll be happy to help!”

It was a good interview.

PIEHOLE: Day 2: The Shoot with Scarlett and Jude.

2004-11-29T07:11:00.000-05:00

It was like any other day, cool temperature, sunny skies, people smiling on the streets. The rich helping the poor, the greedy giving something back. Well…okay, it wasn’t exactly like that, but man when you’ve been awake for 35 hours with only 3 hours of sleep the night before, you start to see some shit.

That’s right, I was high on life and going to the first shoot for PIEHOLE. And I wouldn’t of had it any other way.

When I arrived at the training center around 8:30 in the morning, I was first greeted by Ms. Robbins first. Jazz and I talked about our Thanksgiving day and also about the movie. She was very excited to start the film.
Soon after Zach Ward drove up in his “loaner” Volvo to meet us and we were on our way to Scott and Austin’s apartment.

Scarlett played by Katy Jack and Jude by Jazz Robbins was the scene that was to be shot. Scarlett and Jude who stand in their kitchen, fiddling with their pipes and pans call upon the dark lord. It’s a hilarious scene and it’s only made better with the talents of Miss Jack and Robbins.

As I helped to carry some props into the apartment, I was “hello’d” by one Gina Kelly. Erik was already setting up the scene in the kitchen, while Zach and Lisa Palmisano labeled empty jars. Austin Nava was still asleep in his room while everyone brought out the props.

A suit case full of boots and a “rubber chicken clock” were one of many different things that were laid out, up, down and all around the apartment. At least a half of a dozen of pans and other kitchen appliances were everywhere. And let me not forget to mention the 50 or so candles that were burning in the apartment. A mental image that still runs in my head is of a tall red candle with a picture of the devil dancing on it saying, “Run Devil Run, Send Back Evil”. Even though the apartment looked romantic, it friggin started to smell like my brothers laundry.

Meaning smokey.

The whole set up for the scene started around 9 and it wasn’t until that time that I knew I should of taken that “Yellow Jacket” from the gas station when I had the chance. Blankets and towels were hung on the windows to block out all light. And has everything was coming to completion, Katy and Jazz started to dress into their proper attire, while Gina helped with their make up.

Before Zach went through a quick practice of the scene, everyone was talking, and laughing and just loving the time there. I played some of the greatest 80’s hits of all time from my laptop, including the greatest rap of all time, DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince himself! Zach liked it, I could tell from his dancing.

By 10 am, Jazz and Katy had transformed from quiet human beings to full out punk demon worshippers!

Jazz was thrilled to be looking so awesomely different. I asked her how long it usually takes for her to put on make up, she replied by telling me that she had never put on make up before this day! I admit, I was a little shocked. I don’t think I’ve ever heard a woman say that in my life. At least she wasn’t against make up though, I’ve known some women like that. Some words I say to those women, why wait until you‘re dead and let some asshole stranger do it for you? Do it now, experience all the things life has to offer.

Katy and Jazz do the scene for practice about 4 or 5 times until Zach thinks its good enough to perform for real in front of the camera.

It was really good and got even better when Zach told them to do the scene over in a “Samurai Warrior style” to shake it up a bit. For the first time I see the scene between Katy and Jazz come alive! It is no longer words on page, it is for real!

Finally the scene began and the camera was rolling! It was awesome and fun. I stayed on the back lines with Gine, Lisa and Austin (who finally woke up) while the scene was shot over and over again. It took a total of about 2 hours for the magic to be trapped in a box of film and wires.

Towards the end, I was feeling a weeeee bit tired and took my leave. It was a great time, and I loved seeing the film unfold like it did.

PIEHOLE is still going on strong.

Day 2 was great. Now I’m going to lay down before I fall asleep at the comput3ehdc`KSNMDklsadn`ndfkdfhdlkjhsafd……………………………..>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

PIEHOLE: Extra Features and More!

2004-11-22T23:18:00.000-05:00

I friggin cut myself today people while shaving. While shaving! I was shaving! How does that happen?! When was the last time you cut yourself shaving?! It hasn’t happened to me in the longest time. Okay, I’m calming down. Note to self: Stop shaving your chest.

On with the blog.

Things are looking up in the world of PIEHOLE. Earlier today on the Dirty South Improv Message Boards, Erik Martin posted some very interesting news.

This thread will be used to brainstorm and plan "extra features" or tangents from the World of PIEHOLE.

Again, we are thinking of PIEHOLE as the centerpiece of a DVD with the most IMCREDIBLE special features ever seen. Anything goes. I can get you a camera and tape to take to something, or I can come out and shoot it, etc...

So far we have the following specials planned:

1. Scott Jennings deep-frys a turkey. 11/25
2. Kit tests out "how dangerous carpet skates really are" December ?
3. Interview the directors (with gorging and vommiting) ?
4. PT interviews Erik on morphine 11/30
5. Ben Kibler's world of holiday baking December
6. Joshua's photoessay on the making of PIEHOLE 12/12

post:
1. Audio Commentaries
2. Drink-a-long audio commentaries

So that all looks awesome, but what does it actually mean? It means that not only will PIEHOLE be the next best film to come out of America, but it also means that us (you) viewers will get a behind the scenes look, and to see the cast for who they really are!

Earlier today I talked with Mr. Martin about how the first two rehearsals went last Saturday and Sunday. I would of joined in on the action for a detailed blog, but people, I have a life too.

This past weekend Erik and Zach rehearsed with Katy Jack and Jasmynne-Shaye (Jaz)
on Saturday and with Scott Jennings and Diana Chang on Sunday.

President Martin said,
“They both went really well. Jude and Scarlett found some really cool places when they embraced their inner-satan worshipers. Scarlett used the word “sluttastic”. We're shooting there scene on the 28th, it will most likely be the first thing we shoot. The chemistry between Ramona and Anthony is something special and Austin Nava has given what was once a totally extra character - Kristos- a life of his own and turned him into one of the funniest characters in the movie. Just wait till you hear him talk in Greek.

Man I can’t wait. I mean I can, but I refuse to. I mean I will wait, but time is a mother.

So, as Thanksgiving draws near, it’s a perfect time to see if you yourself can fill your own hole with food that you love.

Enjoy.

PIEHOLE: The Interviews, Part:1

2004-11-17T01:58:00.000-05:00

Never try to write a blog while driving your car. Its like Chocolate, it can be fun and messy, but ultimately you’ll end up with a bad stomach.

As I said, I interviewed some of the peeps at the read thru. I will soon get to interview all, but for now, here is a taste of who’s on board for your PIEHOLE movie.

Jasmynne-Shaye Robbins, who plays Jude, the satanic nerd, is excited and pleased to be apart of something that Dirty Pictures is putting together. She attends NC State University and is majoring in pharmaceutical studies. Jasmynne-Shaye or Jazz (okay I just want to call her that) has had many other roles in the acting field. She has appeared in three independent movies, some music videos and plays around with every kind of art there is! When asking Jazz about her role, she said, “I hope that PIEHOLE makes it big. My character is so far away from who I really am”

Jazz hopes to move to California after she graduates to quote, “Become the next ‘Pine sole’ Lady”. Although actually being a “Pine Sol lady” is just a metaphor, she really just wants to make it big and she just wants to have fun. Personally I can tell you that she’s a real nice girl who likes nothing more than to act and “be there”. Jazz Robbins favorite food is hot wings.

Although Buffie Davis may not slay Vampires and have friends that turn into Were Wolves, she does however play a key role in the film PIEHOLE, as the Film Assistant and Prop Designer.
Buffie is a UNC-Chapel Hill Communications studies major who also studies performance art and wants to one day go into Directing. She has appeared in many various plays including….

“Angels In America”

“Taming of the Shrew” as Biondello (Town idiot)

“Sound of Music” as Sister Margaretta.

“Three Murders and Its Only Mundy” as said Murderer.

Buffie took a class with one Joan Darling, a chance which she says inspired her to no end.

Buffie‘s favorite quote: “Reach for the Stars, the worst that can happen is that you’ll fall in love with the moon” and “A leader is a dealer of hope”- Napoleon.
As Buffie told me, “I said that quote in a speech I gave on campus once and the whole school thought I said ‘dealer of dope’. Everyone out cast me after that. Just kidding, but no, some people didn’t like me”

Buffie is talented young woman whom we are all pleased to be on board. You can usually catch her at any Japanese Steakhouse, eating to her hearts content.

Gina Kelly is the Costume/Hair and Make-Up Designer who attends Peace College and research’s the Liberal Studies with an English Minor. Her favorite food is peanut butter and jelly on WHEAT BREAD OR CRACKERS. She loves some theatre and in her own time she Interns at United Arts Council. SHE WILL BE PERFORMING IN THE UPCOMING PLAYS:

“The Nutcracker Delight”

“Antigone”

Gina was in a Sketch Comedy group called the “The Popular Kids“.

She maybe joining a band called “The Quarantines“.

When Gina isn’t acting, she loves to direct. THIS PAST SPRING, she directed “The Tempest” in which she rewrote the original play into a 40 minute short version to be performed at a Middle School. Gina recalls of the experience during that play in which she yelled to her cast, telling them that “I can do this damn play myself!”
Gina is CURRENTLY taking a class where she’s studying Lemurs(Although that is completely off topic, I thought it was too cute to leave out).

Gina‘s own quote: “It’s the getting up and going places that’s hard. Once I’m there, everything’s great!”

Gina is thrilled to be on PIEHOLE and so are we!

As for me, I don’t have a favorite food. I do everything in a state of being awesome and I love to blog for this film. The French benefits are good too.

Now you may ask, “What French benefits?” That’s for another blog.

*NOTE* Due to an anonymous comment, this post was re-edited. Thanks for the comment, WHOEVER YOU ARE.

PIEHOLE: Day 1

2004-11-14T17:14:00.000-05:00

So the PIEHOLE Read Thru was awesome!
I took my laptop and tried to record as much as possible. I felt a little dizzy when I walked out of my house from the night befo…..never mind. Even with my “Stomach Ache”, I still managed to make it on time. The following is of the meeting. Enjoy Americans!

As I waited outside of the TC with my cigarette in hand, I saw Zach Ward and Ethan K walking across the street with Wendy’s in hand. I nodded to both and we walked up stairs.

I’ve walked up those stairs so many times. So many times now, that I can’t count. Every time I do though, I always get a feeling of happiness inside. Those stairs, those stairs that turn a sharp right. A sharp right and then the first door to the right. It is the DSI Training Center. A place for those like me, who feel important and a place for those who always like the funny.

When the cast and crew entered the room, it was off to the races! Ethan K ate his Triple Classic Burger with no onions from Wendy‘s. Kit and Dave showed up with looks of determination and Erik set up the camera and checked his nails to make sure the chrome blue hadn’t worn off. Scott Jennings and Katy Jack walked into the room, looking tired but ready to go! Zach was munching on his Wendy’s, smiling at all that entered. As soon as everyone was there, they chatted, checked in, and glanced thru their scripts

Speaking of which! Erik passed me the script and I can tell you, I was excited. It was big and juicy and I couldn’t wait to open it!

…..

“Willa May Buckner” and “Shatner: Live” played in the blue and pink center, setting a mood of excitement, also setting an emotion of some concern, for one, Bill Shatner.

Once all were seated, it started with co-director Zach Ward introducing himself and telling all of what the plan was.

Zach said, “The way Dirty Pictures has been organized, is that Erik has written the script and I am co-directing the movie, To coach the actor. We are all rock stars!”

Erik: “My mission, is to make this fun. On stage, in improv, we all like having fun and we want to heighten the scene, that’s what we must do in this movie.”

Zach: “Yeah, just like a good show, thus must be this movie. A good show. No one will judge….except for our parents”

Everyone introduced themselves and told of what their part was.

MAIN CHARACTERS
Scarlett- satanic female geek - Katy Jack
Jude - satanic female geek - Jasmynne-Shaye Robbins
Outlaw - educated country/gay - Dave Siegel
Troy- activist gay- Kit FitzSimons
Ramona - recovered addict - Diana Chang
Anthony - recovered addict - Scott Jennings

EXTRA ROLES
Golfers - Targets for Scarlett and Jude - Zach Ward, Erik Martin
Billy - Cohort of Outlaw and Troy - Ben Kibler (Who was not there)
Kristos - Ramona's abusive boyfriend - Austin Nava
Prince - TBA
King - TBA
Rabbi - TBA
Driver - TBA

CREW
Buffie Davis - Film Assistant/Prop Designer/Girl Grip
Gina Kelly - Costume/Hair and Make-up.

Zach went on, “We plan to sell the be-Jesus out of this. This is a low-budget movie, meaning that Erik and I are some what paying. The movie schedule should only be two months, maybe 7 weeks, and this film should be screened at the Dirty South Improv Festival to come in Feb.”

With that, they started to read the script.
Erik and Zach smiled as Katy and Jasmynne read their lines. The script suddenly came alive!

Kit read for Troy and Dave read for Outlaw and the room lit up!
Dave is great as the outlaw even down to the accent (Like a Texan, but with better morals). Kit acted great as a free spirited college student.

Diana as Ramona, and Scott as Anthony read their scene.

Austin read for Kristos and the room roared with Laughter, Austin was hilarious!

The script is great and I’m love with every moment! The beats of different scenes blend very well together and the cast of actors that portray the characters are perfect!

Erik: “Almost all that we shoot and do will be on BeDirty.com. Think of it like a Special Features on a DVD. Everything from now (Erik points to the camera in the corner) to the end will most likely be on the website. We want as much as possible, but we just cant fit it into the movie. So that’s for the website, we don’t want anyone or thing to be left out.

Zach: “The reason we call this episode 2, is that Dirty Pictures has much to offer and we want to give all! This is mostly the second offering. Where as episode 1: Good & Plenty was the first.”

The read thru wrapped up and Erik and Zach met with each group of the cast.

First, Katy and Jasymnne.

Jasmynne said that she has been researching Goth and Satanic rituals to try to get into the character. She asked as to what the character would look like.

Zach: “If you want purple hair for your character, we can do it! You’re a punk, you need to look punk. These girls are creepy and there making moonshine in their kitchen! These are like dungeons and dragons girls, that went in too deep”

Erik: “Yeah these girls are the kind that will come to your parents Thanksgiving Meal and be all nice, but then go next door and shoot the neighbors. The audience will like them”

As I panned around the room, I noticed that the crew and cast were all talking and laughing, making jokes. Most of them (Including me) know each other from DSI, but there are some new faces. This is great, a room full of support and no fear. The last thing you need is fear when you’re making a movie.

PIEHOLE, the next film from Dirty Pictures, was off to a good start.

I interviewed the Crew and some of the cast. I will post those interviews soon. As for now, my dinner is burning, and my cats are fighting. Congrads to all that were there! You guys are gonna be stars!!

Before It Begins.

2004-11-13T17:05:00.000-05:00

Trying to talk to a girl about a movie called “PIEHOLE”, is like trying to tell someone that “Alice In Wonderland” wasn’t created by pot heads.

I did an experiment that other day to see how a person would react to the ‘word’ PIEHOLE.

Just to clear things up.

Pie --n. A baked pastry shell filled with fruits or other ingredients, and usu. Covered with a` crust. -- Idiom: Pie in the Sky. An empty wish or promise.

So this is what I came up with.

If you were to take PIE for its literal since, then some might see that as “Cute”. Or, “A movie about food”.

Yet, PIEHOLE is a movie that is deep, sensitive and thought provoking.

So don’t take it literally, take the Idiom used above. “An empty wish, a unfulfilled promise”. But still…

Go deeper.

How many of us have had an unfulfilled wish? A promise broken to us, once, twice, hundred times!

I have.

So PIE has now become a word to mean, “A journey with promise, yet in the end, might become a failure!"

Yet the word here we’re looking for is, Journey.

Already we are on the right track.

Hole --n. A cavity in a solid. An animals burrow. A bad situation, predicament.

Take HOLE for a literal since. “A bad situation, predicament”.

Everyone has been in a bad situation before, a trap you felt you couldn‘t get out of?

I have.

You see where we are? Take the two words and let us tie them together now.

PIEHOLE--n. (I guess). A journey of self discovery with promise and high hopes. Where dreams are possible, and nothing can stop us if we try. A bad situation may occur on this adventure, yet it is we, who ultimately decide own fate.

So you see what I did there? Things are deeper than you think. This is not a movie just based on eating and what it does to our physicality. This is a movie about self discovery and determination. I have not read the script yet, I do not know how it is going to end.

What will become of the characters? What will the fate of these people be and will the ultimate question be answered?!!

“Why are we here?!”

I don’t know. (But I will once I get the script)

Frankly, I don’t care about how it ends, I just want to see the adventure. To quote “The Polar Express” (4 star movie, I recommend).

“It's not about where the train goes, what matters, is if you get on”

You see! This friggin girl at the Exxon station didn’t get that at all!

Sure I held up the line and she thought I was hitting on her, but people, OH!

*Sigh*

Just a thought I had.

READ THRU TOMORROW. SCRIPT REVIEW SOON.

PIEHOLE: Cast Announced!

2004-11-11T01:05:00.000-05:00

As my cat gives her self a bath on my bed, in the rudest places on her body, I forgot to post the CAST!

MAIN CHARACTERS
Scarlett (was Stuart) - satanic female geek - Katy Jack
Jude - satanic female geek - Jasmynne-Shaye Robbins
Outlaw - educated country/gay - Dave Siegel
Troy (was Tina) - activist gay- Kit FitzSimons
Ramona - recovered addict - Diana Chang
Anthony - recovered addict - Scott Jennings

EXTRA ROLES
Golfer 1- Targets for Scarlett and Jude - Erik Martin
Golfer 2- Targets for Scarlett and Jude - Zach Ward
Billy - Cohort of Outlaw and Troy - Ben Kibler
Kristos - Ramona's abusive boyfriend - Austin Nava
Prince - Zach Bly
King - Zach Bly
Rabbi - Zach Bly
Driver - Mike Bamfurd

Exciting stuff!

Erik is soon to email me the entire script, although I wont post it (of course, you think I am a friggin’ squealer?!), I will review it for you!

Lets get this started!!!!

PIEHOLE: Pre-Production

2004-11-10T19:57:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the Dirty Picture's Official PIEHOLE Blog! All those incorporated with Dirty Pictures and PIEHOLE are excited to start this adventure off right! Those of you unfamiliar with Dirty Pictures can visit the official website at www.bedirty.com. See the first film from DP, "Good & Plenty", as well as other shorts like "Village Video Dating". All of these films star Improvisers from Dirty South Improv, the best Improv in all of the North Carolina.

Whew! Now enough with the advertising, lets get this started. Who's excited about PIEHOLE?! The correct answer is all. From the minds of Erik Martin and Zach Ward, come Dirty Pictures next brilliant move in cinematic film making, PIEHOLE.
PIEHOLE meshes together three hilarious tales of human struggle, the darkness within us, political causes, and where over-eating becomes a recovery program for two addicts. Shooting is to begin soon and this Sunday I’m going to the script read thru, and I can’t wait to see all of the actors doing their stuff. I got to talk with Co-Director Erik Martin (well, actually, just an email) and I asked him of how the idea came about? He said, “Food can both improve our health and destroy our health. Eating is one of the sickest and yet most sublime things humans can do. No matter who you are, you gotta’ put something in that hole each day. We are the stories we tell ourselves, and more basically we are what we don't shit out.”

So join me in this blog, which willl be updated frequently! Let the feast begin!

PIEHOLE Cast & Crew Blogs

2004-11-10T14:40:00.000-05:00

Welcome to the fascinating worlds of PIEHOLE cast & crew:

Scarlett - Katy Jack
Troy - Kit FitzSimons
Anthony - Scott Jennings
Kristos - Austin Nava

Color Commentator/Historian - PT
Sound Miestro - Ethan Kaye
Assistant Producer - Lisa Palmisano
Co-Producer/Director - Erik Martin